Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
