Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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