Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
