u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
