My first STD was from a foam party
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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