im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
