what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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