sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
