she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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