I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
