No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
