maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
These tits shall not be calmed
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
