He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
