i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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