Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
