What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
