Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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