I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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