I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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