i permit you to call me
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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