I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize