so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
