i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
