I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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