Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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