OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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