She announced her abortion via fbk
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
