let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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