She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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