i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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