and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize