Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
