there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize