I can't watch pbs sober anymore
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
