so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
