I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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