i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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