that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
