so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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