Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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