if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
