I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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