Pappa wants mamma naked
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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