whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize