I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
