apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
