i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
