Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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