i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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