Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
jump out the window naked night went bad
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
