I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
