I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just found puke in my bra..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize