I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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