have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
