Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
