This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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