are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
