All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
