thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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