Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
