If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
