my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
