So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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