Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
