Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize