The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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