...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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