ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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