You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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