Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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