I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
