I don't usually arrange sex via text message
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
